This week I’m hosting critiques for nonwinning adult entrants from Miss Snark’s First Victim’s Baker’s Dozen contest. We have two entries for this. If your post is one of the two, please comment on the other. If you’re a regular Lurker of The Pie, please delurk and share constructive feedback. Thank you to our two volunteers.
Entry #97
Genre: Fantasy Log Line:Half-human Tel has one chance to outwit her world’s brutal colonists, if she can overcome her dishonorable past, the deadly secret sleeping in her blood, and a handsome star-elemental weaving his own mysterious plots. First 250 Words:I was ten years old before I learned my absent, nameless father had given me anything more than dark red eyes
Entry #92
Title: DISAPPEAREDGenre: Unspecified Log Line:Julie’s best friend Fay disappears soon after their arrival on vacation in Morocco. While awaiting – impatiently – action from the authorities, a bewildered Julie snoops enough to guess Fay’s destination and impetuously rushes after her. Julie’s channeling of her inner Kinsey Millhone deserts her, however, after she gets lost and has to ditch their disabled